Why Don’t Women Put Their Birth Year on Facebook?

On a daily basis I’m surprised that I can’t see the age of the women I wish Happy Birthday on Facebook. Most men put theirs. There is no need to be embarrassed!

We all go through the same life phases. We all live through the same existential challenges. But when it comes to age it is as if half the population uses the ostrich strategy and buries their head in the sand.

My strategy is to be proud of my age and my experience. I’m inspired by Nike’s slogan: If You Have a Body, You’re an Athlete. We can all contribute with our own mix of energy and experience. The experience curve crosses the energy curve at the age between 35 years and 40 years. That’s when most people are the most productive. Beyond this life phase you have to build your own existential resilience and secure your own continued strength, both mentally and physically.

“Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter”

With a life span expectancy, which is now often projected to be 100 years, you need to continually replenish your reservoir. There is a fine line between pride and vanity. I have met numerous Late Bloomers. Women, whose children have left the nest and who therefore are now full of renewed energy and ambition and ready to conquer the world. In order to experience relaxed readiness we must accept the actual state of affairs. We must look the monster into the eye. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

During a one-year Meaningful Leadership program that I followed back in 2003 I met a lady who told me the following: “During my whole life I’ve been a wife, a mother and a grandmother. Now I just want to be Karen”. I deeply respect that attitude. She was ready to take on the world as herself. So why not stand up for yourself? Become the one you are. Eliminate wishful thinking and face reality.

Recently I have had the privilege and joy of participating in a couple of weddings. At one of those the groom told his wife-to-be that he would love her beyond menopause. Certainly a strong and controversial statement since there is a sort of taboo around menopause.

In this situation as well as in many others I remember the old saying: Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.

So there is no reason not to put your birth year on Facebook.

12 responses to “Why Don’t Women Put Their Birth Year on Facebook?

  1. Hmmmm written by a man.
    Age certainly does matter for an employer. Especially when you are a woman.
    If you are in the fertile age, they fear maternity leave and young child caring.
    And when you get older – well – middle age women are just not attractive.
    That’s why.

  2. ‘Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter’. I really like this statement. By the way, I am a woman….. my age is 53 – becoming 54 this year. Everyone can see this on Facebook… (-boring information… why is age interesting at all?). I am proud of my age. I have nothing to hide (- everyone can see I am not 25 anyway…) Living through the different phases of life is a wonderful journey. Think about the alternative… The more authentic we live each of the steps on this life journey, the more happy and fulfilled we will feel and in the end, all our different experiences (- menopause inclusive) are foundation for our wisdom. Wise Women are Wonderful Women. That is my humble opinion!

  3. I agree with Anne although I like the mindset.
    But it is a biological fact that women age faster than men visually. I know of know research saying than women age faster mentally. But the visual fact you cannot avoid. And how you look influences other peoples opinion. But it is also true that how you think of yourself influences your looks. I worked in the Baltic countries in 1992 and 1993 and when I had visitors from Denmark, they often told me that people in the three countries where ugly, but it only took a couple of years and nobody made that comment anymore. And the reason was clear – the improvement in the countries made people more proud of themselves. They looked you in the face instead of looking down, they wore nicer clothes etc. So it is balance – to some extent you can influence your looks and thereby influence other peoples opinion and there is biological facts that sets limits.
    Regarding the employer view it is also very difficult for men above 55 to get a new job through an application and as you have the impression that all the head hunters simply have programmed their software to filter all applicants above 55. As that happens before they have looked at you there might not be that big difference between men and women on the job market – except in cases where the employer is actively searching for looks (I have often wondered why so many hotel receptionist are young and good looking women – even in countries where obessity is a big problem).
    Many men above 55 do get new jobs but mostly through relations – the employer know their new employee beforehand.

  4. A lot of women suffer the “tinkerbell syndrme” today – due to changes in society, and excessive focus on career. Before you disagree – a man version of it is “peter pan syndrome”. I feel like majority of the society isn’t emotionally developed past teenagers. Hence the compulsion to appear as young as possible, or hide the facts.

  5. Ouch. It’s so not nice to read that Lithuanians were called “ugly”. First of all, why would you ever call any nation “ugly”? Second, anyone who has ever been to Lithuania or other Baltic country can say that the appearance of Lithuanians, Latvians or Estonians hardly differs from that of Danes. I am from Vilnius and I’m currently studying in Copenhagen. Me and my Lithuanian friends constantly get mistaken for Danes, as we are blonde, fair and blue eyed too. Of course, back in 1992, two years after the restoration of independence, people still very much lacked stylish quality clothing and other attributes of a Western person, but that does not mean they looked Neanderthal.

  6. You misread my comment. I never saw Lithuanians as ugly myself. I was referring to comments I got from colleagues on short visits.
    And although better clothes was part of the change it was not the most important. The most important were that people looked you in the eye instead of looking down, they smiled, they walked with a more upright posture and they talked more freely with each other in the Streets. A change that simply made people look better.

  7. I just think that some women are perhaps more careful than men in not giving too much technical data vis a vis identity theft

Skriv et svar

Din e-mailadresse vil ikke blive publiceret. Krævede felter er markeret med *